The Wives Club
by coeurgryffondor
Summary: A monthly meeting of the most ironic sort. / This has AusHun, SpAus, Spamano, SuFin, SuNor, and DenNor if I got it all. And Hanatamago of course. Just something lighthearted.


**The Wives Club**

Erzsi and Timo meet early to catch up before the others arrive, Hana happily sitting in the Hungarian's lap. "She's so precious," Erzsi says in her puppy dog voice, making the little white thing yip.

"She is the least manly thing ever," Timo chuckles, "but you should see how she makes Berwald melt." Somehow the idea of the Swedish kingdom melting amuses Erzsi to no end.

"Something funny?" a voice inquires from behind and Hana yips again, jumping from Erzsi's lap as the Hungarian stands to hug Antonio.

"Don't worry," she assures him, "I've saved off on the stories about Roderich."

"Well keep saving," the Spaniard says sadly, "I'm afraid I've been banished for today."

"Banished?" Timo asks. "By whom exactly?"

"By me," a voice cuts in, Lovino giving Antonio a more-than-gentle shove towards the door. "Leave, bastard, I'll call you later and you can talk with Erzsi about Edelstein all you'd like then."

"Do I get a kiss?" Antonio asks happily. What he gets instead is a slap. "That'll do." And with a wave he's back out the door again as Lukas enters.

"Everyone's getting coffee right?" Lovino checks as the Norwegian makes his way to their table, kissing Erzsi's cheek gingerly.

"Oh God yes," he sighs, "I need it so badly."

"Bad ride up?" the Hungarian asks as they all sit back down. Timo chuckles, answering instead.

"Emil wasn't feeling well so he came with me, which meant Lukas had both Berwald and Christen in the car."

The Norwegian's eyes are narrow as he takes the Finn in. "Don't think you don't owe me."

"Your brother was ill!"

"He would have lived. Those two, on the other hand, should be lucky I haven't smothered them with pillows."

Lovino shakes his head. "You'd have to smother really hard and they'd have to be really deep sleepers. Trust me," and he nods, "I know."

"Oh good Lord," Erzsi sighs, imagining Antonio's struggles.

"Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed," Timo says in a light-hearted voice, "but you're probably the only one here who hasn't tried to kill your husband."

"Well I suppose that's why we have the meetings in a café and not a prison." They all laugh laughs that vary from warm to cool as the waitress brings their drinks, a gentle lull falling over the table as they commence taking turns trading stories and sharing miseries.

"He's got an eye that wanders like no other," Lovino complains.

"Punch him," Lukas cuts in, "that'll cure it, that's what I did with Christen."

"But he won't stop," Timo whines, "and I know it shouldn't bother me but I'm a man damn it, I've bombed Braginski for Christ's sake, so why the hell am I the mother?" Erzsi nods as he speaks.

"You need to assert yourself," she says as if that'll solve all his problems. "That's what you need."

"Speaking of bombing Russia," Lukas cuts in, "I here the Soviets are having a fun reunion party?" The Hungarian rolls her eyes.

"Not exactly. It's an ugly party sweater, Ivan has pictures from all the years we lived together of us in them; I think they greatly amuses him. We missed a couple of years but eh, it's nice all the same to keep doing it."

"When I start reminiscing," Lovino says in that flat, angry tone of his, "I remember how much I hate the German and go off to punch him in the face."

"Which has never worked," Erzsi observes.

"One day it will," he says seriously, pointing at her.

"Oh no, look at the time!" Timo groans. "It's already been an hour."

"I've only had five cups," Lukas complains.

"Call Antonio," Erzsi says brightly, "I have some stories for him I think he'll appreciate."

"Were you holding out on us?" Lovino asks while doing as told.

"Not unless you want to here about sex with Roderich?"

"I can tell you about sex with Berwald," Lukas one-ups much to Timo's annoyance, causing the Finn to curse in Danish that only serves to make the Norwegian smile more.

"Next month still works for everyone right?" Erzsi asks before finishing her cup, fishing money from her wallet.

"Yeah," Lukas sighs.

"Yup!" Timo says, picking up Hana.

"Si," Lovino groans as he puts away his phone. "He'll be here in five minutes."

"Thank you!"

"We're switching on the way back," Lukas informs Timo as he stands.

"No way!"

"Yes way, I'm not shoving your husband in the back of my car again."

There's a moment of silence before Erzsi speaks first. "How the hell did the Swede fit in the back of your little car?"

"He didn't." Lukas kisses Erzsi's cheeks, shakes Lovino's hand, and waves to Timo who he'll be seeing later.

"Shall I wait?" Timo asks as he lifts Hana up higher.

"No you go ahead dear, see you next month." They wave the Finn goodbye before sitting back down.

"You know what Antonio marks this down on the calendar as?" Lovino asks, pinching the bridge of his nose. When the Hungarian shakes her head he answers, "The 'Wives' Club."

Erzsi snorts. "Pretty accurate." What had started as an accidental lunch in which they all found they could complain about spouses, past and present, had become a lovely monthly meeting of the most random assortment of European nations. "Could be worst."

"Like what?" the Italian demands.

"The 'I Fucked Francis Bonnefoy' Club."

"Is he member number one?" Antonio asks as he joins them. Laughter fills their corner of the café, more coffee coming as tales continue to flow.


End file.
